The Mortal Text-Messages
by City.Of.Weird
Summary: Clary starts a group text. Ducks are present, and there is also talk of a cat. Some how Jace ends up watching Twilight.
1. Ducks and Kittens

**I own nothing, sorry.**

 _A\N: This is after Heavenly Fire but Max is still alive and Simon is a bloodsucker still. Enjoy._

 **\\\\\\\\\**

Clary Fray\Fairchild made a group chat called: _**We've saved the world MORE than once, so stop telling us what to do.**_ _On:_ _Thursday_ _at:_ _5:36pm_

5:36pm _Clary:_ Hey, everyone. I started a group chat. Thought it might be easier to send one message than 5. Anyway, does anyone want to come to Luke's farm with me for the weekend? :P

5:36pm _Izzy:_ Yeah. Xoxo

5:37pm _Magnus:_ Sure biscuit. One question, who all is on this group chat?

5:39pm _Jace:_ Well me of course, Maggie.

5:40pm _Magnus:_ Who added you?!

5:40pm _Jace:_ Clary of course.

5:41pm _Magnus:_ WHY?!

5:42pm _Simon:_ Clare, why did you have to add the dumb blond?

5:43pm _Jace:_ BLOODSUCKER!

5:44pm _Clary:_ Anyway, Magnus, it's Jace, Izzy, Alec, Simon, you, and me.

5:48pm _Alec:_ You stink Magnus!

5:48pm _Magnus:_ What?! Why would you say that Alexander? I just took a shower, and with my starwberry shampoo, too.

5:49pm _Alec:_ I also think you use to much glitter.

5:50pm _Magnus:_ What has gotten into you? First you try to shorten my life, now you tell me I use to much glitter. How dare you!

5:52pm _Simon:_ Well...

5:53pm _Izzy:_ Alec, for you have brought shame to this family, glitter is perfection.

5:53pm _Magnus:_ Thank you Iz, and Alexander you have also brought dishonor to the cows of New York.

5:55pm _Clary:_ I'm not getting in the middle of all this, but shouldn't Jace be jumping all over this?

5:56pm _Alec:_ ugh...

5:59pm _Magnus:_ Btw just walked into the bathroom and found Jace on Alec's phone... thought that might be vital information.

6:02pm _Izzy:_ JACE!

6:03pm _Izzy:_ I'm telling Alec.

6:05pm _Alec:_ Sorry, just got my phone back from Jace.

6:06pm _Magnus:_ Don't worry hon, Izzy and I are going to make him pay. MWHAhahah

6:08pm _Alec:_ What are you guys doing?

6:09pm _Clary:_ One, what are ya'll going to do? Two, what was with the dishonor to your cow mumbo-jombo?

6:11pm _Simon:_ Please tell me ya'll are going to do something good.

6:13pm _Magnus:_ We are. And just wait.

6:18pm _Jace:_ There is nothing in this world that can scare me!

6:20pm _Izzy:_ Liar

6:21pm _Simon:_ Oh, Just found out there plan... Jace you are doomed.

6:24pm _Clary:_ Can I know the plan? I am still holding a grudge against you for not letting get that cat...

6:26pm _Izzy:_ I wanted that cat too. So even more revenge. Yay

6:30pm _Jace:_ But we have Church... Babe come on.

6:32pm _Clary:_ Tessa took Church back...

6:33pm _Magnus:_ Oh, yeah, she did. Didn't she. Huh

6:42pm _Clary:_ Just found out the plan...Jace don't go in your room!

6:44pm _Simon:_ Clary...

6:45pm _Jace:_ Clare, babe, I'll be fine, trust me.

6:46pm _Clary:_ Look, Jace, I might still be mad about the cat, but trust ME, you do not want to go in your bedroom.

6:49pm _Jace:_ Ye have little faith.

6:50pm _Clary:_ Fine. But if you do scream, you have to let me get the cat...

6:53pm _Jace:_ Deal.

6:54pm _Izzy:_ New kitty, yay!

6:59pm _Jace:_ No "New kitty", I will NOT scream. Opening the door now...

7:00pm _Clary:_ I warned you...

7:01pm _Jace:_ WHY THE HELL IS THERE A BLOOD THIRSTY BEAST IN MY ROOM!? Ya'll are so dead, once I get my hands on you!

7:05pm _Clary:_ I tried to warn you babe. Now since you screamed, do you want to go Monday or Thursday to get Mr. Wiskers?

7:06pm I _zzy:_ As I said new kitty yay!

7:06pm _Simon:_ Sorry, Jace your stuck with the deal we all read it.

7:07pm _Alec:_ yep

7:08pm _Magnus:_ hahahha

7:10pm _Jace:_ But we didn't shake on it...

7:11pm _Clary:_ Jace...

7:13pm _Jace:_ Fine, but we will get it Monday, the sooner we get it the faster I can kill it.

7:14pm _Clary:_ You kill my cat Jace Herondale I will maim you. With our own blade!

7:14pm _Magnus:_ Jace, how dare you even suggest such a thing! Cats are wonderful creatures.

7:15pm _Alec:_ That's low even for you.

7:16pm _Izzy:_ NO!

7:17pm _Simon:_ Don't even think about it Jace. Clary and Izzy both want the cat time for you to suck it up!

7:21pm _Clary:_ I'll also tell Maryse and Robert about it.

7:22pm _Jace:_ Oh, no. They so scare me. Haha. Don't worry it'll be gone as soon as we get it.

7:24pm _Clary:_ I'll also tell Max...

7:24pm _Jace:_ Fine I won't kill it.

7:27pm _Jace:_ But it isn't sleeping with me.

7:28pm _Izzy:_ We'll see about that.

7:33pm _Clary:_ Back to the point of why I made this chat, who all is going to the farm with me, tomorrow at three p.m?

7:34pm _Alec:_ Yeah.

7:35pm _Magnus:_ I'll be there. 3

7:37pm _Simon:_ Sure.

7:38pm _Izzy:_ Why not.

7:40pm _Jace:_ You know I go anywhere you go.

7:41pm _Izzy:_ Other than the duck pond...

7:42pm _Simon:_ Hahaha, true.

7:50pm _Clary:_ It's ok Jace, I wouldn't want the ducks to "watch" you.

7:52pm _Magnus:_ This is just to good.

7:53pm _Alec:_ Why don't we just lay off Jace for a while? We already got him with the duck.

7:56pm _Jace:_ Thx Alec. It's a perfectly normal fear. It even has a name. Anatidaephobia.

7:58pm _Magnus:_ Moving on. Why don't we turn this into a roadtrip instead of using a portal?

7:59pm _Simon:_ Sure.

7:59pm _Clary:_ Your limo though.

8:01pm _Magnus:_ Done.

8:03pm _Alec:_ Ok

8:04pm _Jace:_ HELL YEAH!

8:05pm _Izzy:_ Yay. Roadtrip!

8:05pm _Clary:_ Meet at the Library for the roadtrip. Gtg bye guys love ya'll.

8:08pm _Izzy:_ Ok, girl. Love ya too.

8:09pm _Izzy:_ One more thing Jace.

8:11pm _Jace:_ What?

8:12pm _Izzy:_ Quack.

8:14pm _Jace:_ ISABELLE!

 **\\\\\\\\\**

 _ **A\N:**_ _I may write more, but if you like this you should go check out some of my other TMI storys. I should be updating on those soon, if you have read them sorry. I've had writes-block for awhile now, thats one of the reasons I wrote this._


	2. Fried mice tails and Parties

**Still own nothing but my birthday is close so maybe someone will buy The Mortal Instruments for me, who knows. Not likely though.**

 _ **A/N:**_ _Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I probably wouldn't of writen this chapter if not for those. And thank you all for the Follows and Favs, those brought a great deal of inspiration also. Please keep that up, it really brings a smile to my face to know that people really do in fact read what I write and indeed enjoy it. Thank you again! As I said last time this is after HF and that Max is still indeed alive and Simon is a bloodsucker, but the other things that diffrent is that Jorden is still alive and everyone probably figured out is that Simon has his memories. On with the story._

 **/TMI/**

 **Magnus:** Who all is coming to my party, I need to know so I know what to shadowhunter/downworlder proof.

 **Izzy:** Sorry Simon and me I can't come. I'm meeting Rebecca (aka Simon's sister. Yay!)

 **Clary:** Does Rebecca know about the shadow-world yet?

 **Alec:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN YET?! Iz you know we don't tell mundanes about the shadow-world!

 **Izzy:** Clary told Simon and she already knows that Simon's a vamp. sorry no going back now.

 **Alec:** I can't, I just can't even deal with this right now...

 **Alec:** Also sorry Magnus I can't come either though, mom wants me to go over some plans to raid a demon lair next week.

 **Clary:** Sorry too Magnus Jace and I have a date tonight.

 **Jace:** You aren't going to try to make me walk past the duck pond AGAIN are you?

 **Simon:** Clare you so should! Bwahaha!

 **Clary:** No Jace, I dont want to have to put the ducks through any more trauma.

 **Jace:** The ducks going through trauma? What about me? there the ones WATCHING ME!

 **Alec:** Jace PLEASE don't make me go through this again, I really don't have the patience to have this conversation again.

 **Izzy:** Quack...

 **Magnus:** HAHAHA

 **Magnus:** As much as I love messing with blondie,

 **Magnus:** Are any of ya'll coming to party tonight? I even got fried mouse tails...

 **Jace:** Fried mouse tails!

 **Jace:** Clare, baby, Can we please go to Maggie's party?

 **Magnus:** Who said you were invited? And my name's not Maggie!

 **Jace:** I could just crash it anyway...

 **Izzy:** Can we go Simon, we could bring Rebecca with us.

 **Clary:** Yeah, I'm sure she would love it. And sure Jace, but you'll have to make it up to me..and no crashing it we will just "show up".

 **Alec:** I'll try to ditch mom to come, some one has to be the adult here, but it's just our little group right?

 **Magnus:** If you want I can make it that way, but on one condition..

 **Alec:** What's that?

 **Magnus:** You have to stay the weekend.

 **Alec:** Can do, just as long no more wayward shadowhunters decide to attack us.

 **Jace:** Yay!

 **Izzy:** Simon?

 **Simon:** Sure and we can bring becca just as long as Jace stays away from her.

 **Clary:** SIMON!

 **Jace:** Don't worry bloodsucker, I've got Clary and I'll also have my fried mouse tails.

 **Izzy:** YAY! Party! Time to play dress up Clary!

 **Magnus:** Yay, we have just enough time to go shopping!

 **Jace:** Sorry nope I'm not sorry, but Clary can't hang out right now, she's taking me to see some mundie movie?

 **Simon:** What movie?

 **Clary:** Twilight

 **Magnus:** Hahahahaah

 **Magnus:** I'll let you get out of shopping for that biscuit.

 **Alec:** ?

 **Izzy:** Yeah what is that?

 **Magnus:** I'll tell ya'll later Alexander, and Glitter Pal.

 **Simon:** I have to go. Picking up Becca bye.

 **Izzy:** Me too. bye

 **Clary:** At the movies bye.

 **Magnus:** Have fun! See you all soon!

 **Alec:** Bye

 **Jace:** Goodbye fellow mates see you after this wonderful movie.

 **A/N: I didn't proof read this so sorry for any "Upset-ments". ANd no I did not but the times sorry. And also I know its super short compared with me last one so sorry for that too! Please don't come at me with fire and wooded stakes.**


	3. Glittery vampires, and movie plans

_**Note: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in like twenty years. I'm not even going to try to make any excuses. But I am going to try to write on atleast a reguler basis now even if I don't upload it. though I will try to upload it. So on with the horrible and disgustingly late upload.**_

I own nothing sadly or else I would not be...well here writing this just for my own amusment when I could be elsewhere doing other things. There I said it are you happy now Cassandra Clare?!

 _(4:52 pm)_ **Jace:** Why in the hell did no one even warn me!

 _(4:52 pm)_ **Jace:** The vampires in that awful movie is even worse than you bloodsucker.

 _(4:55 pm)_ **Clary:** It honestly wasn't that bad Jace.

 _(4:56 pm)_ **Simon:** Did you just say that there is somthing worse than me?

 _(4:56 pm)_ **Magnus:** You know...Jace. Thats only the first movie.

 _(4:57 pm)_ **Magnus** : HAHAHA.

 _(4:57 pm)_ **Magnus:** If Clary doesn't make you watch the rest of them I will.

 _(4:59 pm)_ **Jace:** You wouldn't dare warlock.

 _(5:00 pm)_ **Izzy:** Whats so wrong with twilight Jace? It sounds like a romance of a life time from what Magnus told me.

 _(5:00 pm)_ **Simon:** Not as good as Star Wars.

 _(5:09 pm)_ **Alec:** I have no clue what any of you are talking about.

 _(5:12 pm)_ **Magnus:** Don't worry Alec, I'll show you the best mundane movies.

 _(5:13 pm)_ **Izzy:** I'm sure you will Magnus.

 _(5:13 pm)_ **Jace:** Why isn't anyone worried about the state of my sanity after that...that thing they called a great movie.

 _(5:16 pm)_ **Clary:** Jace it wasn't that bad.

 _(5:17 pm)_ **Alec:** Jace I know nothing about this movie but I think you maybe being a bit judgemetal.

 _(5:19 pm)_ **Simon:** He's not its the worst movie made since as long as Magnus has lived.

 _(5:23 pm)_ **Magnus:** I haven't lived that long!

 _(5:34 pm)_ **Alec:** Watch what you say Simon, I already don't like you seeing as your dating Izzy, but don't make me dislike you more by messing with Magnus. Now Magnus don't start with the age thing because we all know that you are always lying about your age.

 _(5:36 pm)_ **Izzy:** Good going Alec!

 _(5:36 pm)_ **Clary:** Thank you Alec. I really didn't want to have to get in the middle of that!

 _(5:37 pm)_ **Simon:** We should all have a movie night. Who's in?

 _(5:39 pm)_ **Clary:** I am! I'll drag Jace with me.

 _(5:44 pm)_ **Jace:** I'll go but only if you don't make me watch another movie like that Clare.

 _(5:46 pm)_ **Alec:** Sure I'll come but only if its nothing romantic or crap.

 _(5:49 pm)_ **Magnus:** Sure I'll host.

 _(5:53 pm)_ **Izzy:** I'm in if there's snacks.

 _(5:58 pm)_ **Simon:** It's done. How many times? Once a month? Twice a month?

 _(5:58 pm)_ **Clary:** How about every Firday.

 _(6:05 pm)_ **Jace:** I'm down for it.

 _(6:07 pm)_ **Simon:** Same here.

 _(6:08 pm)_ **Izzy:** Lets do it!

 _(6:11 pm)_ **Magnus:** TIME FOR FUN FRIDAYS TO COME INTO PLAY! YAY!

 _(6:12 pm)_ **Alec:** Guess i'm going to have agree.

 _(6:12 pm)_ **Izzy:** YAYAYAYAY!

 _(6:14 pm)_ **Simon:** I say 8:00 pm?

 _(6:15 pm)_ **Clary:** Yeah that sounds good!

 _(6:19 pm)_ **Jace:** I want supper to while watching then.

 _(6:22 pm)_ **Magnus:** Okay.

 _(6:23 pm)_ **Alec:** As long as we aren't hunting I don't mind.

 _(6:27 pm)_ **Izzy:** Yesssss.

 _(6:28 pm)_ **Clary:** What should we start with?

 _(6:31 pm)_ **Magnus:** I say somthing easy like disney.

 _(6:34 pm)_ **Clary:** Okay, how about Monsters INC?

 _(6:37 pm)_ **Simon:** Or what about Bambi?

 _(6:37 pm)_ **Magnus:** NOOO.

 _(6:39 pm)_ **Jace:** NOOO WHAT?!  
 _(6:42 pm)_ **Simon:** Magnus just doesn't want to watch Bambi.

 _(6:44 pm)_ **Magnus:** YOU CAN'T BLAME ME!

 _(6:46 pm)_ **Clary:** So are we going to watch Monsters INC? If so I need to know because I have the spiecal edition somewhere and I need to find it.

 _(6:49 pm)_ **Simon:** Sureee, but next time I want Bambi.

 _(6:49 pm)_ **Magnus:** Yes.

 _(6:51 pm)_ **Jace:** Good.

 _(6:52 pm)_ **Jace:** Does this have ducks or glittery vampires in it? I can't put my sanity through anymore.

 _(6:54 pm)_ **Alec:** Jace stop with this maddness. This fear of ducks is getting out of hand.

 _(6:55 pm)_ **Clary:** No ducks and no glittery vampires, and I agree with Alec this is ridiculous.

 _(6:56 pm)_ **Izzy:** It has always be ridiculous.

 _(6:56 pm)_ **Magnus:** I must agree. Though I do want to see what would happen if maybe we watched a mickey mouse movie...

 _(6:59 pm)_ **Simon:** OHHH that would be so, so perfect.

 _(7:03 pm)_ **Clary:** We will see. Though I do think that maybe we should at least wait.

 _(7:03 pm)_ **Jace:** You're taking their side?!

 _(7:04 pm)_ **Jace:** Your suppose to help me.

 _(7:06 pm)_ **Alec:** Ok how about everyone just chill we can take this up Friday. Now every one needs to stop and train. I will see you later Magnus.

 _(7:07 pm)_ **Magnus:** 3 okay lovely, I will see you later. Friday, 8:00 pm, Monsters INC. See you then.

 _(7:09 pm)_ **Jace:** Okay bye.

 _(7:10 pm)_ **Clary:** Bye.

 _(7:13 pm)_ **Izzy:** Peace.

 _(7:14 pm)_ **Simon:** Goodbye my fellow shadow-world people.

 _(7:14 pm)_ **Jace:** Whateven...

 _(7:15 pm)_ **Jace:** Nevermind, I don't even want to know.

 _ **AN: Note It is longer than the last, but shorter than the first. Hope you liked it. I send love to all my perfect, awesome readers!**_


	4. Family Love and A Birthday Bash

**AN/ I own nothing. I never have. I really hope that one day I do but some how I don't think that will happen.**

 _Magnus:_ Guess what Chairman Meow is having his birthday to day!

 _Clary:_ Yay! We should have a kitty party this year.

 _Izzy:_ A kitty party?

 _Jace:_ No not this again...

 _Clary:_ You know a kitty party. You invite all close friends and realitives and thier cats. A kitty party.

 _Simon:_ Thats a great idea! You could bring Mr. Whiskers.

 _Alec:_ We could invite Tessa back. We would all get to see Church again too!

 _Magnus:_ YESSSSSS! CLARY YOU ARE GENIUS.

 _Jace:_ That she is but I do not want Mr. Whiskers with Chairman Meow. He will ruin our perfect little baby.

 _Izzy:_ What happened to you not liking the cat Jace?

 _Clary:_ He always liked the cat he just doesn't want to admit it.

 _Jace:_ Just because I don't want Mr. Whiskers hanging out with Maggie's cat doesn't mean I like the cat.

 _Simon:_ Well why don't you want Clary's cat hanging out with Chairman Meow then?

 _Alec:_ And when ever Clary stays over some how Mr. Whiskers comes too?

 _Izzy:_ Must I remind you that whenever Mr. Whiskers does visit that some how he always manages to cuddle up to you whenever you're sittting down?

 _Magnus:_ Alas if you scroll back up you can see he says "our cat" when speaking of Mr. Whiskers.

 _Magnus:_ Just a little thought for the future Jace, watch what you type.

 _Clary:_ Leave Jace alone guys, he's finally cool with our baby, don't mess it up.

 _Clary:_ We are so bringing Mr. Whiskers though. Church, Mr. Whiskers, and Chairman Meow will have so much fun!

 _Jace:_ NO HE IS NOT GOING! Also I still am not fuzzy wuzzy with the cat.

 _Izzy:_ Fine well stop. But I do have one more thing to say...

 _Simon:_ Go on.

 _Izzy:_ AWWWWW A CLACE BABY! It maybe be a cat but they are the cutest and most baby like things ever.

 _Alec:_ So what time is this party so I can make sure that these people I call family don't mess anything up.

 _Clary:_ Awwww. I love you too Alec.

 _Izzy:_ Big bro, I never knew you cared so much.

 _Magnus:_ Babe... your the sweetest for caring about the kitty bast. What time should we start?

 _Jace:_ I just have no words to experess the love I feel.

 _Alec:_ I have no words either.

 _Alec:_ How many people do you plan to invite?

 _Magnus:_ Just a small gathering.

 _Alec:_ The last time you said that I walked into our apartment so full of people that I couldn't even move. Must I also say I KNEW NOT A SINGLE PERSON THERE. I STILL DON'T KNOW THEM.

 _Magnus:_ Okay, so it was more than a small gathering. This will only be like you guys, Mia, Jordan, Tessa, and Jem, maybe Katerina. Thats it.

 _Magnus:_ Also everyones Cats.

 _Izzy:_ So how about at about 5:30 and make it a pizza night and we all sleepover.

 _Alec:_ That should work.

 _Magnus:_ I GOT TO START THROWING GLITTER.

 _Izzy:_ I ON MY WAY TO HELP!

 _Jace:_ Whatever, you want to come over Clare Bear?

 _Clary:_ Can Mr. Whiskers come?

 _Jace:_ Sure. As long as he doesn't get cat fur on my clothes.

 _Simon:_ Okayyyy, Sa Alec want to hang?

 _Alec:_ No.

 **A/N: Okay so if you don't mind please comment and let me know if I should go back and do the times. Honestly which do ya'll like best?**


	5. Drapes and Other Torn Things

**A/N: I wrote this and just decided to wing it. I haven't proof read it and all mistakes are my own and i still like last time own nothing. I still wish that wasn't true.**

( _10:28 pm)_ **Clary:** I'm so sorry Magnus.

( _10:29 pm)_ **Clary:** I didn't know Mr. Whiskers would act like that around other cats...

( _10:34 pm)_ **Alec:** I don't think Magnus is going to be talking to you and Jace for a while.

( _10:35 pm)_ **Simon:** It wasn't that bad...he only tore up like half the apartment.

( _10:35 pm)_ **Magnus:** HALF! HALF! HE TORE UP ALL OF MY DRAPES! MY COUCH! AND MY RUG FROM ANCIENT EGYPT! "only half" ONLY HALF! WHAT EARTH ARE YOU LIVING ON YOU HORRIBLE BEASTS

( _10:36 pm)_ **Jace:** That rug was old and smelled anyway.

( _10:38 pm)_ **Isabelle:** He ripped Magnus's drapes. His blue glittery drapes. I think that is the real crime here.

( _10:38 pm)_ **Simon:** ARE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW MAGNUS JUST CALLED US ALL BEASTS???

( _10:39 pm)_ **Jace:** You are a beast bloodsucker.

( _10:39 pm)_ **Clary:** Jace! Be nice!

( _10:39 pm)_ **Alec:** I think we all just need a little while to calm down.

( _10:39 pm)_ **Alec:** You can always just redecorate. You do it every week anyway.

( _10:40 pm)_ **Magnus:** WHY ARE NOT ON MY SIDE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

( _10:40 pm)_ **Magnus:** Alexander, I'm not sure this going to work with you not fighting for my virtue.

( _10:42 pm)_ **Alec:** Magnus I love you I really do but all of you are being absurd including you. It's drapes.

( _10:43 pm)_ **Simon:** and a really old rug and a couch.

( _10:43 pm)_ **Clary:** NOT HELPING

( _10:44 pm)_ **Jace:** It really isn't that bad. At least not as bad as Twilight.

( _10:45 pm)_ **Isabelle:** I LIKE TWILIGHT

( _10:45 pm)_ **Simon:** but Star Wars is better. Way better.

( _10:45 pm)_ **Clary:** I concur Sir. *mustache twist*

( _10:46 pm)_ **Jace:** Who cares

( _10:46 pm)_ **Clary:** I care. If you want to keep being my boyfriend you will to.

( _10:46 pm)_ **Jace:** ok I care

( _10:47 pm)_ **Clary:** good

( _10:49 pm)_ **Magnus:** WHAT ABOUT MY HOUSE THOUGH

( _10:50 pm)_ **Simon:** just magic it fixed.

( _10:50 pm)_ **Isabelle:** Or get new things.

( _10:50 pm)_ **Jace:** Either works.

( _10:51 pm)_ **Magnus:** Mr. Whiskers has been banned from Uncle Magnus's!

( _10:52 pm)_ **Alec:** I agree. The apartment was pretty trashed.

( _10:53 pm)_ **Jace:** Good. More time for Clary to keep the cat away from Chairman Meow the bad influence.

( _10:53 pm)_ **Isabelle:** I wish Tessa could have made it.

( _10:53 pm)_ **Magnus:** At least she didn't have to witness that disaster.

( _10:54 pm)_ **Alec:** I miss Church.

( _10:54 pm)_ **Magnus:** We could always visit him.

( _10:54 pm)_ **Jace:** He only ever liked you Alec anyway.

( _10:54 pm)_ **Clary:** He let me pet him some.

( _10:55 pm)_ **Jace:** Church was using you for scratches.

( _10:55 pm)_ **Simon:** Don't all cats do that?

( _10:56 pm)_ **Isabelle:** No.

( _11:07 pm)_ **Magnus:** I'll forgive you someday Biscuit for bring that animal into my home.

( _11:09 pm)_ **Simon:** Chairman Meows a cat too Magnus...

( _11:12 pm)_ **Magnus:** He's classy though not beastly.

( _11:13 pm)_ **Jace:** I would like to disagree with you on that

( _11:15 pm)_ **Alec:** Guys stop. Its to late for this.

( _11:15 pm)_ **Clary:** I'm sorry Alec.

( _11:15 pm)_ **Isabelle:** Bro just turn off your phone.

( _11:17 pm)_ **Alec:** I did.

( _11:17 pm)_ **Alec:** Magnus's phone is still going off.

( _11:18 pm)_ **Magnus:** I'm sorry Alexander. I was looking for new drapes.

( _11:20 pm)_ **Jace:** Get over it Maggie.

( _11:21 pm)_ **Clary:** I'm sorry guys. :-(

( _11:22 pm)_ **Simon:** Rebecca says that it's time to stop with the cat comparing.

( _11:22 pm)_ **Clary:** Rebecca is with you?

( _11:26 pm)_ **Simon:** Yeah we're going to a midnight showing of Lady and the Tramp.

( _11:26 pm)_ **Isabelle:** Wait let me come join you!

( _11:36 pm)_ **Simon:** Rebecca says all of you are invited.

( _11:37 pm)_ **Clary:** Jace and I are on our way!!

( _11:37 pm)_ **Jace:** We are? I don't want to go see the bloodsucker.

( _11:38 pm)_ **Clary:** Jace.. no we are going.

( _11:38 pm)_ **Jace:** Fine.

( _11:40 pm)_ **Magnus:** I would come but it seems Alec already fell asleep.

( _11:40 pm)_ **Magnus:** Have fun!

( _11:48 pm)_ **Magnus:** Goodnight.

( _11:51 pm)_ **Clary:** Night Magnus.

( _11:53 pm)_ **Jace:** Night Maggie

( _11:56 pm)_ **Simon:** Peace

( _11:56 pm)_ **Isabelle:** Come join us if Alec wakes up. We are all here.

( _5:26 am)_ **Alec:** I wake up to my phone glitching because of this group chat??

( _5:26 am)_ **Alec:** I hate all of you.

( _5:27 am)_ **Alec:** But you Magnus.


	6. Theft and Beauty

**It's been like forever I know…..but I'm back at least for this upload. If it interest anyone I have a heart drawn on my ankle in black sharpie. I really hate saying this but once again I still own nothing to do with the Shadowhunter world, or any other big production. I do have a half used sharpie and headphones listening to "The Mystic" by Adam Jensen. Also comment, it let's me know that ya'll liked it, in the comments let me know if you have read The Bane Chronicles. Now on with the… I don't even know anymore, I guess, on with the nonsense that I write.**

 _ **We've saved the world MORE than once, so stop telling us what to do.**_

 _ **Saturday**_

 _(8:40 pm)_ **Alec:** Why is it that every time I leave all of you alone together I end up having to go to *insert your place of choice* to *insert cleaning up whatever mess all of made* ??

 _(8:42 pm)_ **Jace:** Look Alec this really wasn't our fault this time.

 _(8:43 pm)_ **Izzy:** Big brother I promise, we didn't even really do anything.

 _(8:47 pm)_ **Simon:** If you think about it all we did was take a little trip a museum.

 _(8:47 pm)_ **Simon:** Nothing bad..

 _(8:48 pm)_ **Clary:** It was a honest coincidence.

 _(8:53 pm)_ **Jace:** I think that the guards tried to blame it on us. They thought they could get away with it too.

 _(8:54 pm)_ **Izzy:** No no no. It was Egypt.

 _(8:55 pm)_ **Clary:** Alec I really am sorry you're cleaning up our mistakes.

(8:58 pm) Simon: It's been 26 days since the last incident, almost a month. That's a pretty long.

(9:00 pm) Magnus: GUYS

(9:00 pm) Magnus: ALEC TOOK ONE LOOK AT HIS PHONE AND STORMED OUT ABOUT 10 MINUTES AGO.

(9:02 pm) Jace: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US THAT 10 MINUTES AGO?? THIS IS NOW A FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES!

(9:05 pm) Simon: Dear oh dear he already wants to kill me. Crapola!

(9:06 pm) Jace: Who even says "crapola"

(9:08 pm) Simon: SOMEONE WHO'S ABOUT TO DIE!!!!

(9:11 pm) Clary: Alec come on. Please I know your upset but be reasonable.

(9:13 pm) Izzy: Clary I don't think he has his phone on him….

(9:14 pm) Magnus: No he took his phone. I think he might come back

(9:17 pm) Alec: IF ANYTHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS AGAIN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WILL DIE

(9:18 pm) Simon: Wouldn't that break the accords?

(9:21 pm) Jace: How could anyone want to kill this beautiful face.

(9:23 pm) Magnus: Well Sebastian for one.

(9:27 pm) Izzy: THATS A SORE SPOT MAGNUS

(9:30 pm) Clary: Magnus that was mean!

(9:32 pm) Jace: Maggie is a jerk jerk jerk, jerk jerk jerk

(9:33 pm) Magnus: What is it attack Magnus time??

(9:34pm) Magnus: I'm sorry. Alec just told me that it was really uncalled for...sorry.

(9:36 pm) Alec: Could you all please restrain yourselves next time from stealing anything. IT'S A CRIME!

(9:37 pm) Simon: At least it's not like anyone got arrested this time.

(9:39 pm) Izzy: We only wanted to get a closer look.

(9:43 pm) Clary: We didn't even touch it.

(9:48 pm) Jace: It's being pinned on us.

(9:52 pm) Alec: So what everyone is saying is that you just got too close to the Rosetta Stone and after all of you got kicked out it just disappears. How come that just doesn't seem right.

(9:52 pm) Alec: Even if someone tried pinning this on you, you would all be perfect suspects!

(9:53 pm) Alec: They wouldn't be able to pin this kind of stuff on you if all of you would act like adults!!

(9:54 pm) Simon: I'm honestly scared to respond...

(9:55 pm) Magnus: How many times am I going to have to say sorry Alexander before you forgive me?

(9:55 pm) Magnus: I love you darling.

(9:56 pm) Alec: I'm letting this one slide for now, because there really isn't any evidence that it was you guys but don't think that I will forget this.

(9:59 pm) Izzy: We all love you Alec

(10:03 pm) Clary: We all really appreciate you Alec.

(10:05 pm) Magnus: Like reallllllyyyy appreciate you Alec. Especially me. All. The. Time.

(10:06 pm) Jace: we don't need to hear about how much you appreciate my brother Maggie. At. All.

(10:09 pm) Izzy: I think it's sweet! Alec and the sweetest most innocent person ever and Magnus should appreciate that to it's full extent!

(10:12 pm) Alec: I'm going to sleep! If anyone bothers me tonight they will get maimed.

(10:12 pm) Magnus: Well my phone is going off….Goodnight my lovelies and Jace

(10:15 pm) Jace: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN MAGGIE?? IM THE LOVELIEST OF EVERYONE EVER

 _(10:16 pm)_ **Jace:** TURN YOUR PHONE BACK ON WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS!

 _(10:17 pm)_ **Jace:** WE CANT LEAVE THINGS LIKE THIS MAGNUS

 _(10:18 pm)_ **Jace:** WHAT IF I WERE TO DIE AND YOU NEVER GOT TO CORRECT YOURSELF ON WHO IS THE LOVELIEST MMMHM??

 _(10:18 pm)_ **Jace:** HOW WOULD YOU FEEL THEN HUH

 _(10:19 pm)_ **Clary:** Please Jace just stop

 _(10:20 pm)_ **Jace:** NOT UNTIL THIS IS SETTLED

 _(10:23 pm)_ **Jace:** IS NO ONE GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY ALL POWERFUL BEAUTY

 _(10:24 pm)_ **Simon:** I'll acknowledge your all powerful annoyance.

 _(10:24 pm)_ **Izzy:** I'll second that decree

 _(10:26 pm)_ **Jace:** UGHHHHHHHH

 _(10:27 pm)_ **Clary:** Babe please just go to sleep.

 _(10:30 pm)_ **Clary:** I'm begging.

(10:32 pm) **Jace:** Not until someone says I'm the most beautiful person to exist

 _(10:33 pm)_ **Clary:** You Jace are the most beautiful person to exist NOW SLEEP

 _(10:34 pm)_ **Simon:** You Jace are the most annoying person to exist

 _(10:34 pm)_ **Izzy:** I second that.

 _(10:36 pm)_ **Jace:** Clary is the only one in this chat who knows beauty when they see it.

 _(10:37 pm)_ **Clary:** Yet I said sleep and here you are still texting.

 _(10:38 pm)_ **Jace:** Going to sleep now my wonderful, perfect ladybug.

 _(10:38 pm)_ **Clary:** Thank you.

 _(10:46 pm)_ **Simon:** EWWWWWW BARF

 _(10:47 pm)_ **Izzy:** Did you call Clary a ladybug??? Hahaha

 _(10:50 pm)_ **Simon:** Probably because of her red hair.

 _(10:51 pm)_ **Izzy:** And what big would you call me simon? ;-)

 _(10:54 pm)_ **Simon:** Uhhhhh

 _(10:55 pm)_ **Simon:** A love bug

 _(10:57 pm)_ **Izzy:** Awwwwweeee

 ** _We've saved the world MORE than once, so stop telling us what to do._**

 ** _Sunday_**

 _(6:23 am)_ **Alec:** I think Magnus is the most beautiful person to exist

 _(6:23 am)_ **Alec:** The rest of you are peasants


	7. Cleaning and Hiding

**_AN/ I'm sorry how i type it is so inconsistent and unreliable. Same as my uploading times. I still don't own anything, like at all. I think I own maybe one beach towel. It's Superman themed._**

We've saved the world MORE than once, so stop telling us what to do.

Wednesday: 9:31 am

 **(9:31 am) Alec:** Guys I thought we had talked about this.

 **(9:44 am) Alec:** Don't worry I cleaned up your messes.

 **(9:45 am) Alec:** Not that any of you are awake to even consider "Hey maybe we should clean up instead of letting Alec come home and see the mess we made, and not cleaned up, and he ends up having to clean it up because no one else will."

 **(9:46 am) Alec:** "Thanks guys that's so great."

 **(9:48 am) Alec:** NOT THAT ANYONE EVEN CARES WHAT ALEC WANTS

 **(9:49 am) Alec:** The only reliable one around here is Magnus. I go to his place and guess what. The place is clean. He does the dishes, I cook. Or visa versa. It's nice.

 **(9:51 am) Alec:** UNLIKE THE INSTITUTE WHERE I WALK INTO THE KITCHEN AND WHAT DO I SEE TAKI BOXES STACKED ON TOP OF ONE ANOTHER FALLING OVER. PIZZA BOXES. YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW RESPONSIBILITY!

 **(10:22 am) Simon:** I don't live at the institute so I feel like this should be between the family.

 **(10:25 am) Alec:** YOU SPEND ENOUGH TIME HERE IM PRETTY SURE I PICKED UP YOUR SOCKS OFF THE COUCH JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO. YOUR THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD HAVE HIPPO WEARING A TOP HAT SOCKS!

 **(10:29 am) Alec:** I'm going back to Magnus's.

 **(11:08 am) Izzy:** Alec we're sorry.

 **(11:09 am) Izzy:** We just don't know how to function without you.

 **(11:14 am) Izzy:** I need you to come home. We all do.

 **(11:14 am) Izzy:** Alec please. I spilled grape juice on my leather pants and don't know how to get it out.

 **(11:17 am) Alec:** What makes you think I know how to get it out.

 **(11:18 am) Izzy:** Because you alway have.

 **(11:19 am) Magnus:** Alec came back to my place. I don't think you should be somewhere Alec can track you down Iz….

 **(11:22 am) Izzy:** Why?

 **(11:24 am) Magnus:** Because Alec left again.

 **(11:24 am) Magnus:** Where you going babe?

 **(11:28 am) Izzy:** SIMON COME PICK ME UP

 **(11:35 am) Simon:** ON THE WAY NOW

 **(11:39 am) Alec:** Either for ice cream or to commit a heinous crime. I'm still deciding. I'll talk to you later Magnus.

 **(11:43 am) Clary:** I guess now is a bad time to check your phone after your morning shower and mention that those hippo wearing top hat socks are yours….?

 **(11:47 am) Simon:** nope not at all great in fact if it will save my skin.

 **(12:03 pm) Jace:** Nothing will ever save your skin bloodsucker. Not from Alec.

 **(12:07 pm) Magnus:** are the socks glittery? That's the important question

 **(12:04 pm) Izzy:** Very important indeed.

 **(12:05 pm) Alec:** Yes

 **(12:05 pm) Clary:** No

 **(12:07 pm) Clary:** It doesn't matter anyway.

 **(12:07 pm) Simon:** Tell the truth Clary.

 **(12:08 pm) Clary:** The important question is- who is Alec on the way to kill first.

 **(12:11 pm) Jace:** Simon and Izzy.

 **(12:13 pm) Simon:** well that's an inconvenience.

 **(12:13 pm) Jace:** Only for my sister.

 **(12:14 pm) Magnus:** I would offer my home for those who fear getting murdered my Alexander, but I don't feel like not getting my favorite ice cream later.

 **(12:16 pm) Simon:** So ice cream takes importance over our lives.

 **(12:17 pm) Izzy:** if it's cookie dough we completely understand.

 **(12:19 pm) Clary:** Cookie dough is definitely worth letting people die for.

 **(12:23 pm) Magnus:** no it's Sherbet.

 **(12:25 pm) Jace:** mmmm interesting

 **(12:25 pm) Izzy:** Who even actually likes Sherbet,

 **(12:26 pm) Izzy:** THATS RIDICULOUS

 **(12:27 pm) Magnus:** IT IS NOT

 **(12:29 pm) Clary:** I don't even know what to say

 **(12:30 pm) Alec:** leave Magnus's ice cream choices alone

 **(12:31 pm) Alec:** even if they are bad.

 **(12:32 pm) Izzy:** ughdhdhdj

 **(12:34 pm) Simon:** Okay what's your second favorite ice cream then?

 **(12:36 pm) Magnus:** cookies and cream

 **(12:37 pm) Jace:** Nothing will ever beat cookies and cream

 **(12:39 pm) Clary:** cookie dough

 **(12:39 pm) Magnus:** Sherbet

 **(12:40 pm) Izzy:** cookie dough

 **(12:41 pm) Izzy:** Magnus please just stop

 **(12:48 pm) Magnus:** at least Alexander respects my ice cream choices

 **(12:49 pm) Magnus:** he just brought me my Sherbet

 **(12:49 pm) Magnus:** Thank you babe

 **(12:52 pm) Alec:** You are welcome

 **(12:53 pm) Jace:** ewww PDA

 **(12:55 pm) Simon:** you and Clary are like walking PDA

 **(12:57 pm) Clary:** simons not wrong Jace

 **(12:59 pm) Izzy:** mmmmhm

 **(1:04 pm) Simon:** do you think that Alec and Magnus are going to answer anytime soon….?

 **(1:06 pm) Jace:** haha

 **(1:07 pm) Jace:** you're joking right bloodsucker. Maggie answering his phone. Ha

 **(1:07 pm) Clary:** be nice Jace

 **(1:08 pm) Izzy:** I'm sorry to tell you Clary but this is Jace being nice

 **(1:11 pm) Simon:** Sadly

 **(1:14 pm) Jace:** Hey I can be nice

 **(1:15 pm) Jace:** right clare-bear

 **(1:17 pm) Clary:** on the occasional day

 **(1:17 pm) Jace:** So you mean everyday.

 **(1:18 pm) Clary:** Most days yes.

 **(1:20 pm) Simon:** PDA alert

 **(1:22 pm) Izzy:** *siren noise*

 **(1:23 pm) Jace:** Leave Clary alone its not her fault she loves me so much.

 **(1:26 pm) Clary:** :"Loves you so much", I think you love me so much.

 **(1:27 pm) Jace** : I do

 **(1:28 pm) Simon:** I think I'm going to puke.

 **(1:29 pm) Izzy:** ok time to chill guys Simon is gagging out loud now.

 **(1:37 pm) Jace:** it's what the bloodsucker deserves

 **(1:39 pm) Clary:** Jace

 **(1:40 pm) Jace:** Clary

 **(1:40 pm) Simon** : Does anyone think it's safe to come out of hiding. I don't think so, Izzy says it's fine now.

 **(1:43 pm) Clary:** I would give it a couple more hours.

 **(1:44 pm) Clary:** or days

 **(1:44 pm) Clary:** depends if he's still upset.

 **(1:46 pm) Jace:** who knows he's unpredictable

 **(1:47 pm) Izzy:** I think we are fine. I'm leaving and going back to the institute.

 **(1:50 pm) Simon:** she left me….Izzy left me….to go back to the institute

 **(1:51 pm) Simon:** she's going to get herself killed

 **(1:53 pm) Clary:** She'll be fine Simon. Alec won't kill his own sister.

 **(1:54 pm) Jace:** You think that now Clary.

 **(1:55 pm) Jace:** You will change your mind when she's gone.

 **(1:57 pm) Simon:** Izzy I will miss you.

 **(1:58 pm) Clary:** you guys are over reacting.

 **(1:59 pm) Jace:** What kind of coffin do you want Iz?

 **(2:04 pm) Izzy:** I am turning back now

 **(2:05 pm) Clary:** WHY WHAT HEPPENED?

 **(2:06 pm) Izzy:** Alec was stalking on the sidewalk right in front of the institute.

 **(2:09 pm) Simon:** Why didn't Magnus warn us?

 **(2:11 pm) Jace:** MAGGIE PROBABLY BETRAYED US AND EVEN MADE A PORTAL TO GET ALEC THERE

 **(2:13 pm) Magnus:** Actually I stole magnus's phone and then made my way back to the institute after giving him his ice cream to keep him distracted.

 **(2:22 pm) Simon:** I fear that everyone has either a) went into hiding or B) died

 **(2:22 pm) Clary:** I'm good. Jace just showed up. We are going some place Alec won't find us.

 **(2:24 pm) Izzy:** I'm on my way back Simon.

 **(2:24 pm) Simon:** we need to stop texting. He is tracking us. Everyone go dark.

 **(3:57 pm) Clary:** ALEC FOUND US WE WERE AT THE PARK IN A TREE AT THE DUCK POND AND HE STILL FOUND US NOWHERE IS SAFE ITS EVERYMAN FOR HIMSELF

 **(3:58 pm) Clary:** I LOST TRACK OF JACE AND I HAVE HIS PHONE.

 **(4:02 pm) Simon:** HOW IS ALEC TRAVELING HE JUST SHOWED UP AT LUKES HELP

 **(4:03 pm) Izzy:** I THINK MAGNUS IS ON HIS SIDE I SAW GLITTER

 **(4:07 pm) Jace:** MY PHONE DIED AND ALEC IS CATCHING UP TO ME -CLARY

 **(4:10 pm) Simon:** CLARY HAS BEEN CAUGHT

 **(4:11 pm) Magnus:** I have my phone back. I'm sorry but Alexander isn't going to hurt you. He only wants to teach you.

 **(10:36 pm) Alec:** Thank you for participating. Maybe now you will clean up after yourselves.

 **(10:38 pm) Jace:** How could you subject Max to that. We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. You literally made us scrub. Alec how could you. I'm passing out from exhaustion.


End file.
